Letting Go of the Boat

Dan Lenington on August 13, 2013

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Have you felt like revival is somewhat unrealistic in this age, in this nation, or in this church? I understand. I've been trying to figure that out too for the last few weeks. Pastors aren't always perfectly at peace or full of faith either, but God has helped me to clarify my struggle and boil it down. It comes from a long standing stronghold of doubt and pride in my heart. This is a part of my testimony.

Over the past few months, I've come to realize that for a long time I have allowed my pride and doubt to determine how I applied many passages of Scripture. I allowed this to happen because I didn't have the faith to allow God to prove His promises to me. I was afraid that if I actually stepped out on a limb, God would leave me hanging, and I would find myself falling into despair and disbelief. I have read and heard many stories about men who trusted God for what He promised them and found Him to be true. However, I had not really been willing to test God myself. I've been more comfortable simply enjoying the theological and philosophical implications of Christian doctrine rather than actually testing the reality of their supernatural implications for myself. The result was a powerless ministry. Sure there was some fruit, but not the type that exhibited God's power. Gradually, God has revealed to me my double-mindedness and convicted me of my unbelief. I would compare it to Peter stepping out of the boat to walk to Christ on the water. Peter had to trust God for something that only God could do. He had to leave the security of what he knew and trusted to cling to Christ. He knew there was no going back to the boat when he let go. It was all or nothing. I wrote the following confession on July 31, 2013.

I think it has finally come down to it. For a few weeks I've been struggling with doubts and fears. I've been trying to put into concrete form what is holding me back from stepping out in faith. I think of Peter stepping out of the boat into the storm. He didn't know what was going to happen but at least for a time he would trust his Master completely. I've been looking at Christ longing to go to Him, but too afraid to let go of the side of the boat. I'm afraid that if I let go, I'll sink and not only will Christ fail me, but also that there will be no going back to the safety of the boat. However, it's all or nothing for me. I've clung to the boat long enough to know there's no safety or strength there. Father, please catch me and bear me up so I may walk through the storm by the power of Christ. Father, don't let me sink when I stumble and fall. Give me courage to reach to you and not the boat for help and guidance. I guess this is it. There's no turning back.

I have decided to trust God for revival in our church and community. This is the miracle that I ask of God. I do not presume to outline what that will be specifically at this point, but I believe God will show me what to ask for and expect specifically as time goes by. I know that personally, I have much further to go until God can fully use me, but I know God can, wants to, and ultimatly will if I don't put my hand to the plow only to look back. I encourage you to challenge your preconceptions of what is possible both in this church and in yourself. Can you step out and let go of the manufactured security of your Christian experience to attempt great things for God and expect great things from God? I'm tired of the status quo.